How to choose your emergency contacts when you live alone

When I sit down with someone to set up their daily check-in, the question that takes longest is never the time of the call. It is this one: "Who should we contact if you don't answer?"

Most people start with family. That makes sense. But the most useful person on the list is often simply the one who lives closest. Somebody who can actually get there. That is the heart of this guide.

Start with who can get to your door

If you miss a check-in, the most useful thing anyone can do is knock on your door, or let themselves in and find you. So the first question is not "who cares about me?" It is "who could be here in 15 minutes?"

Good first contacts are often:

• A neighbour on your street, or in your building.
• A friend who lives nearby and drives.
• A family member in the same town.
• A building superintendent or landlord, if you rent.

Family who live further away still belong on the list. They just usually belong further down it. They can make calls, coordinate, and drive over if needed, while the nearby person checks first.

Think about keys and getting in

A neighbour who knocks and gets no answer is stuck unless they can get inside. Ask yourself:

• Who already has a spare key? It is often a neighbour, a family member, or the person who holds your power of attorney.
• Is there a door that is easier to get to, like a side door?
• Is there anything they should know, like a dog, an alarm code, or a door that sticks?

Our guide to giving a neighbour a spare key covers this in more detail, and entry details for your Care Circle explains how to record it.

Think about when people are around

The perfect contact on paper is not much help if they are away when it counts. A few things to check:

• Does anyone travel for long stretches, or spend winters somewhere warm?
• Who works during the day, and who is usually home?
• Is there someone who is around on weekends and holidays?

This is why two to four people works better than one. If the first person is busy or away, the next one is there.

Put them in the right order

With MyDailyCheck, if you miss a check-in we contact your Care Circle one person at a time, in the order you choose. We don't alarm everyone at once. So order matters. A simple rule of thumb:

1. First: the person who can get to you fastest and has a key.
2. Second: another nearby person, or a family member in town.
3. Third and after: family further away, who can coordinate and make calls.

You can read exactly how this works in what happens if they don't answer.

Asking someone to be on your list

Lots of people feel awkward about this part. They don't want to be a bother. In my experience, most neighbours and friends are glad to be asked. It is a small thing to say yes to, and it means a lot.

If you would like to ask them yourself, something simple works: "I've signed up for a daily check-in call. If I ever miss it, would it be okay if it let you know, so you could knock on my door?"

Who to leave off

Choose people who can stay calm and call 911 immediately if they suspect an emergency. Some people are better kept off the list, or lower down it:

• Someone you don't want to have a key or to see inside your home.
• People who rarely check their phone or messages.

Review it once or twice a year

Neighbours move. Friends' health changes. People retire and start travelling. Pick a date, maybe your birthday or New Year's, and take five minutes to check that your list still makes sense.